Clergy are often called upon to officiate wedding ceremonies. I have performed dozens of nuptials over the years. Perhaps one day I will share some of the most poignant, and certainly funniest, situations I have found myself.

Today, however, it may be best to revisit why pastors and priests are chosen for weddings versus a justice of the peace or even a friend. Yes, it is true, in Arizona only two witnesses and the person performing the ceremony are necessary, along with the marriage license, to make a marriage legal. No credentials are required to officiate.

When I am asked to lead a ceremony, I spend time with the couple regarding their wishes including the “who, what, where, when, and why” of taking their vows. After dispensing with these important details, we begin to talk about marriage as a religious institution.

The following is a sad amalgamation of some of the conversations I have had regarding the sacredness of a wedding and the responses I receive:

“As a Christian pastor, I hope you understand,” I explain, “I approach marriage as instituted and ordained by God.”

“Oh,” they say, “we don’t want all that God and Jesus stuff. Can’t you just talk about love or something like that and have us take our vows?”

I politely remark, “I am sorry. I cannot in good conscience, based upon my calling and duty to the ministry, remove references to the spiritual nature of weddings and the God-created purpose of marriage.”

At this point, the couple is perplexed at my unwillingness to give them the ceremony they want absent of Godly references. After all, in their minds, they are paying customers.

I then offer a myriad of alternatives for nuptials and even show a willingness to direct them to these choices, but by then, they are too disappointed to listen to me.

However, the Bible I espouse is clear that people should be “equally yoked” in marriage, meaning, among other concerns, they need to have a shared faith.

For theistic people, marriage is a sacred gift from God. Because of this, it is imperative, within the context of the Christian faith, that due deference and respect be held for this institution. 

From a humanistic perspective (or even an atheistic one), no concern should be raised if two wish to be wed without a theological underpinning. That decision is between the couple to grapple. It is important, however, to remember that theism and its ordinances vary widely from secularism and, therefore, differ in their wedding and marriage expression.

I will leave you with this C.S. Lewis quote regarding love and which speaks to marriage, as well:

“Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life.”

Whatever your path, I hope you find true meaning in life and, if intended, with another.

Kent Simmons is the pastor of Canyon Community Church. He can be reached at kent@canyon-church.com.